


Best Served Regardless of Temperature

by Anonymous



Series: Elia Martell Fics [6]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bittersweet, But only Elia :(, Canon Divergence - Robert's Rebellion, Character Study, Complicated Relationships, Dubious Consent, Dubious Morality, Elia Martell Lives, Elia Martell-centric, Elia lives, F/M, Multi, Not A Fix-It, POV Elia Martell, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Very Alternate Universe, survivor's guilt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-02
Updated: 2018-09-07
Packaged: 2019-07-06 00:55:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15875190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Very few people came to her. The Spider only came to stick needles in Elia's heart with conversations about her babe Aegon and his uncle starving a world away. The Queen came twice to rage at Elia. Rhaegar could have been walking among them, Cersei had said, if Elia hadn’t been so worthless a wife. Elia agreed, not out of grief or nostalgia but a satisfaction that churned in her belly where her children once were. The second time Cersei came, she sent Elia’s servants back to Dorne. Oberyn came to her once when news of her death spread far and wide. Elia could not remember what he said or how he looked, only the bloodstain on his tunic.Outside and in the holdfast Elia could hear commotions. It was Robert's name day, his seventh since he sat on the Iron Throne."Girl," Elia spoke, "bring me a gown.""A gown," the girl said surprised. "Which one?""The nicest one," Elia told her. "I'm going to a feast."ORElia gets revenge.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Here's a wild AU. English is not my first language and I have no beta.

O0O

A chambermaid was humming as she dusted the wooden board on Elia's bed. The song was one Elia did not recognise but there was so much that passed her by while she remained in her room, sitting by a window and thinking of a life that was bittersweet but better than what she has now. Very few people came to her. The Spider only came to stick needles in Elia's heart with conversations about her babe Aegon and his uncle starving a world away. The Queen came twice to rage at Elia. Rhaegar could have been walking among them, Cersei had said, if Elia hadn’t been so worthless a wife. Elia agreed, not out of grief or nostalgia but a satisfaction that churned in her belly where her children once were. The second time Cersei came, she sent Elia’s servants back to Dorne. Oberyn came to her once when news of her death spread far and wide. Elia could not remember what he said or how he looked, only the bloodstain on his tunic.

Outside and in the holdfast Elia could hear commotions. It was Robert's name day, his seventh since he sat on the Iron Throne.

"Girl," Elia spoke, "bring me a gown."

"A gown," the girl said surprised. "Which one?"

"The nicest one," Elia told her. "I'm going to a feast."

Doran bought her gowns and jewels in lieu of letters he could not send. They were embroidered with suns, spears and the warrior Queen Nymeria. Elia knew what he was saying but it gave her no strength or pleasure. Then one day she saw something that shifted the veil she placed over her eyes, heart and wits.

The gown was heavy and almost seemed gaudy with her hair done simply and her face bare. Elia wore a gold ring and a thin silver necklace and walked out of her room, passed the dry, spiked moat and into the Red Keep. Feasts were once a highlight for Elia, so many people to talk to, not to mention the musicians. There was nothing Elia loved like Dornish drums. Even now the closer she got the more her spirit soared. It felt like she was coming back to life especially when everything stopped as soon as she walked in.

Robert was fatter and hairy than the man who smiled down on her children's corpses. "What are you doing here?" He boomed.

"It's my King's name day. I come bearing gifts," Elia said. All eyes went to bare hands and smatterings of laughter started.

"You poor thing," Cersei said. "You have nothing to offer the King."

"How wretched a woman," Petyr Baelish said from his table. "Forgive her, Your Grace, she knows not-"

"Be quiet," Robert snapped. His eyes were shining with something that was not quite hate. "What gift?"

"The truth," Elia said. In a Doran like manner, she began talking, "While Aerys held me hostage, one of the three Kingsguards remaining was a boy, who spoke to me more than the others."

"Ser Barristan!" Cersei called out. "Return the lady to her chamber."

Robert held up a hand. "What did the Kingslayer tell you?"

"That he coupled often with his sister," Elia answered. She became silent as the pandemonium spread throughout the hall. Her heart was singing, her finger tingling and not once did she take her eyes off Robert. The King turned red and stood up.

"Are you saying," he shouted silencing everyone, "that-"

"Your children are not your own," Elia replied in a clear voice that carried.

"Madness!" Cersei shouted. "Utter madness!"

Jon Arryn was pale as he stood, light glinting off the pin on his chest. "Princess, your accusation is treasonous. You must have proof."

"I do," Elia said glancing as Varys. "Your Grace, you have bastards don't you? Eight of them from all sorts of women. Blonde, green-eyed, red haired and yet all your children and your brother's are black haired and blue eyed except...."

Fear emitted from Cersei in thick waves. "My love, you can't be believing it. My Lannister blood, it is strong. That is all."

"There have Lannister and Baratheon unions before," Elia said. “None produced a blonde child.”

Varys stood up. "Your Grace, I'm afraid I must support Princess Elia."

Somehow that got an even bigger reaction. Robert was trembling, his beady eyes were darting between the two of them. Jaime, her old friend who avoided her like a plague, was staring at her with betrayal.

"My little birds told me something troubling the past few days about the Queen and Ser Jaime," Varys said mournfully. "I did not want to believe it."

"Seize them!" Robert roared. Elia curtsied before Arys Oakheart grabbed her by her arms.

O0O

It has been a few days since. Elia was not allowed to leave her room for anything. There were guards outside her door for the first time in half a decade. Once Robert, stinking of wine and in his undershirt, burst into the room. Elia screamed remembering another such event. The King only stood there overcome with confusion, anger and what seemed like humiliation before leaving without saying a single word. 

Now, she was being taken to the Tower of the Hand. Instead of the council room, Elia was escorted to the solar. Inside was Jon Arryn, Barristan Selmy and Robert Baratheon.

"Princess Elia, how do you fare?" Arryn asked politely. He was always polite even while standing over her children wrapped in Lannister red.

"Not well, my lord," Elia answered knowing any other reply would enrage Robert.

"How did you know?" Robert asked unable to wait any longer. "You never left that holdfast."

"I left a few times, Your Grace. During one of those occasions, I saw Joffrey in Rhaella's garden. He looked so much like his mother, as did the other children," Elia said calmly. "I knew you had bastards. Rhaegar told me about them."

Robert's eyes bulged. "Rhaegar? What business was it of his?"

Elia looked at him for the first time with pity that no doubt had plagued him all week. "I'll explain why later, Your Grace."

"No," Robert said coldly. "You will say it now."

Arryn spoke gently but firmly. "We are risking war with Tywin Lannister. We need to know how the first accuser came to know of this."

Robert slumped back on his chair, balling his hands into fists. Elia turned a wide eyed look at Arryn who smiled encouragingly.

"Rhaegar said you had black haired bastards. When I saw the boy, I knew Jaime had not stopped his relationship with Cersei," Elia explained. "I looked into it with the women Doran sent me and the Baratheon guards' description of Edric Storm. I asked Pycelle for books on lineage of the Great Houses. He assumed it was because of Oberyn's bastards."

Arryn was writing down her words. "We'll need to speak with the women. You remember their names?"

"I do."

"You will write to your brother so he can send them to us for the trial," Arryn said.

"That's not all," Elia said. "On Harrenhal, before Rhaegar won, I overheard Cersei speaking to Jaime about his appointment. He suggested they run away and marry each other like Targaryens."

Arryn's quill stilled. "Was this after he said his vows?"

"Yes," Elia lied. "He cared little for oaths." He let her children die. "I trusted him anyway. He seemed enamored with knighthood until Aerys, until the burnings. I thought that was a sign of a golden heart."

Robert snorted angrily. "That son of a whore wouldn't know about golden hearts if his father bought one for him.... Under my nose, the _nerve_ of those cunts."

"Robert," Arryn warned.

"They will die," Robert said his eyes cloudy. "Them and those abominations."

Elia's heart was beating hard. Those children... older than her Rhaenys but children none the less. She understood now her mother's words about the weak paying the price in war and yet it was too late to stop. While the King and his Hand argued, she slipped out of the room.

Elia wrote Doran a letter. She seemed to forget how to form words but she managed in the end. She gave the letter to Arryn personally.

"There's something in Dragonstone you need to find," she said. She remembered it vividly eight years after first finding it, dreamt about it even. “It’s important.”

O0O

The trial happened rather quickly. Elia was the first to be called as a witness. She answered the questions the way she did everything else, with meekness.

"It's all lies! Why can't you see?" Cersei shrieked after Elia recounted the conversation in Harrenhal that did not happen. 

"It's revenge for a crime Tywin Lannister did not commit," said one of the Lannister cousins. "This is all to ruin House Lannister. It has no basis, Your Grace."

"Robert, Robert, please," Cersei cried breathlessly. "I wouldn't do this to you. I love you and only you."

Varys, heavily perfumed, spoke of the Queen's trysts while Robert was hunting. "I wonder, did the Queen ever have a trueborn child with the King? His seed is after all strong," Varys finished. The implication made Elia gasp with everyone else in the throne room. Foolish, Elia thought, unfathomably foolish.

Robert was murderous by the time some of the servants spoke of finding semen on the Queen's chamber. It could not have been Robert who barely laid with her. Pycelle spoke on behalf of Cersei, noting the lack of interest Jaime had in his beloved sister's children. Three of Elia's Dornish maids took turns describing the Baratheon bastards they had met and their lowborn mothers' looks. Lannister men spoke of Cersei's virtue. Baelish admitted to hearing of moon tea leaves being bought with golden dragons for a lady inside the Red Keep.

"Her Grace rarely kept ladies in her company," Baelish testified with some regret though there was something in his eyes Elia disliked. "Lady Tyrell paid the Queen a visit but that was months before this transaction."

Cersei defended herself admirably. Her parents were Lannisters, a child from the same bloodline would keep the same features. Robert laid with women of diluted blood whose parents came from different families. They could not compare her blood to that. She reminded the court how amoral the Dornish were, how jealousy ruled them, how they lacked propriety. Elia likely murdered her own children so she would be spared, Cersei claimed. There were people nodding along. Elia closed her eyes for one moment when she could not look at them lest she start crying.

"You are wrong," Robert said. Arryn's face became pinched. "Your father had them murdered. I ignored it for the sake of keeping the peace. Look what that got me."

Elia wondered while the court erupted, if Robert realised what he was admitting to and what it turned her into. Arryn knew judging by the sour look on his face.

"Trial by combat! I demand a trial by combat!" Jaime shouted, the only words he spoke the whole day.

"Very well," Arryn said. "You shall have it."

Robert's grin was almost the most frightening thing Elia ever saw.

O0O

A package came from Dragonstone the next day. Elia knew because the women remained with her and became her eyes and ears once again. Arryn came to see her himself.

"Why did you not say anything before we went to war?" He asked angrily holding an old letter.

"I nearly died birthing Aegon. By the time I had enough strength, Brandon Stark and his father were dead and you called your banners," Elia replied. "I wish I had said something. I wish I had birthed earlier. I wish I didn't ignore the girl when she came to speak to me."

"Robert," Arryn began.

"He has to know."

Arryn shook his head. "It will destroy him. He's been talking about the girl again, swearing she wouldn't treat him as Cersei did."

"He needs to marry again." He needed to suffer. "Tywin can amass a massive army and he can buy more men. The moment word gets to him-"

"He has started marching from Casterly rock," Arryn said. "He began preparing the moment your accusations reached him."

Elia trembled. "Not mine alone."

"Matters little." Arryn returned the letter to the box it was delivered in. "I cannot tell Robert."

Robert was refusing to consider another marriage while the High Septon annulled his marriage to Cersei.

"Only Lyanna," he was heard saying. 

Then a few days later, hours before the trial of combat, Robert stormed into her room. This time he pushed her to a wall.

"Lies! It's all lies! Say it! Say it!" He bellowed tears streaming down his face.

Elia was crying too, out of terror. The last time a man stood over her like that....

"I'm sorry, Robert," she whispered. He pulled away disgusted.

"Why? Why couldn't you have-?"

"-made him happy?" Wasn't that always the question? "I don't know. I did everything. _Everything._ I wasn't enough. It's not your fault."

Robert spat on her. "I damn well know it wasn't my fault!"

Elia doubted him. "I'll tell you why," she said. She stepped closer to Robert, barely jumping when he bared his teeth in a snarl. In a quiet voice, she said, "Rhaegar wanted three children."

Finally something broke through the anger. "Three?" It was confusion.

"For his prophecy. He said the Long Night was coming again and he was the Prince who was promised to save us all."

Robert shook his head, stumbling backwards. "Lyanna was with child? Ned he-"

"No," Elia said. She remembered every night the sight of the youngest Lannister bastard holding his sister tightly. "Before he died, Rhaegar told me he had married Lyanna but she had not yet given him his third child."

Relief broke through Robert and he seemed more man than beast. Elia released the groan she bit back, crumbling to the ground. Robert called for the maester, then he carried her to the bed. Guilt looked sweet on him.

O0O

The King could not fight Jaime, though he wished it. Barristan Selmy was his champion. He never liked her, Elia remembered. She never knew why, had no reason to ask because he performed his duties perfectly. Today she was willing to forgive it if she could see him cut Jaime down but she knew all her hate would turn inwards when Robert executed the bastard children.

The fight took place in a courtyard. At first Elia thought up excuses to remain in her tower but that was cowardly. Elia was done being cowardly. Jaime was good and desperate. Soon both men were bleeding heavily. Then a hesitation and a sword slipping into a chest twice. Before the body hit the ground, Robert was off his chair roaring. Cersei ran into the courtyard, her unkempt hair flying behind her. She sobbed as she lifted her twin's head off the ground. Elia waited for satisfaction to come but she was just as empty as before the feast.

A war hammer made a grisly tool for executions.

O0O

A king needed a wife. A king at war with a formidable enemy needed a wife quickly. Too bad there was no one of birthing age in any of the major Houses. The Tyrells would not tolerate a Florent or Hightower as Queen. The Stark's girl was a toddler. Margaery Tyrell was far too young. Robert needed an heir before meeting Tywin at the battlefield.

"Stannis is my heir," Robert had proclaimed. Elia did not need to eavesdrop to know Arryn was not happy with that. Stannis, who would be joining his brother, had one child, a girl with greyscale. 

Tywin was nearing the Riverlands. The Stormlords had gathered at Storm's End. The Northern army was marching south and the Knights of the Vale rushed to meet them. Elia was brought to the Small Council to convince Dorne to join.

"Her words will not be enough," Baelish said. "The Dornish refused to support Aerys despite her son and Rhaegar’s heir, Prince Aegon. They had to be coerced to join the war efforts."

"They hate the Lannisters," Barristan quipped. He was out of armor and weak but determined to join the war.

"And us," Baelish pointed out. "Princess Elia has been a hostage while Cersei wore a crown."

"Yes, the Dornish cannot be trusted. They gave King Aerys ten thousand spears only," Pycelle added.

Elia wanted to chime in that Doran had more honor than all of them but she kept dutifully quiet. Her opinion was not needed. Afterwards Robert followed her to Maegor’s' Holdfast.

"That Prophecy, tell me about it," Robert demanded.

Elia did, staring out of the window. "Rhaegar was pleased when he heard I was pregnant. Distantly pleased. He wrote a song about the child. When Rhaenys was born, he stood silently while his father insulted her. Then suddenly, he was attentive. He would question me about her birth, the night she was conceived. If I saw a star, was I crying salty tears, were we near the hearth? Was the hearth smoking?"

"Madness," Robert said riveted.

"I lied," Elia admitted. "I wanted him to love her. She was so sweet, my little girl. He started reading old scrolls while I rested. Once he let me see them. They were written in High Valyrian. Rhaegar didn't know I could read and write in the language of our ancestors…. I saw it, the prophecy about a savior who will deliver us from an ancient evil. I thought he thought it was Rhaenys at first. Then the night there was a comet, he came to me frantically. Aegon was conceived that night. He never touched me again, almost as if he was testing something."

Robert nodded. "He decided it was the boy."

"Yes," Elia said. "He said 'the dragon had three heads'. It was Rhaenys, Aegon and a third child. Aegon was difficult to carry before he was born. He made me sick all the time. I once heard Connington speculating about my death as if I was an old horse. Rhaegar was supposed to go to Harrenhal alone but I insisted on coming. I wasn't invalid and I loved tourneys.... Did you know Lyanna was the Knight of the Laughing Tree?"

Robert's eyes widened. "No. How?"

"Rhaegar found the shield, the only thing of value the knight had. Then he crowned Lyanna," Elia said. "She was pretty, a beautiful to some but with all the pretty maidens around, how did she catch his eye?"

"I don't understand."

"Rhaegar's ancestor was Rhaenys. Her sister was a warrior queen the way my Rhaenys could never be," Elia explained bitterly. It still stung somewhere deep inside Elia.

Robert adopted an ugly look. "Lyanna was going to give him his Visenya. How she could agree to that? I don't understand."

"She loved him. A pious prince, she called him." Elia wondered about that. A pious woman kept only to her husband's bed and a pious man? What was required of him? "He never apologized for crowning a girl while I bore his child. I begged his forgiveness when I gave his harp to Aerys," Elia said in a distant voice. "I wanted him to take me to Dorne before he left. He refused. I knew he had a second wife and I knew where she was. He told me he put her in the one place no one would look and he came into the city with red soil on his clothes. Lyanna was in Dorne, my home and Arthur Dayne’s…. I had to remain in Aerys' care until you were beaten."

Robert was never empathetic in all the time Elia had spent around him. He only offered her some of his wine and avoided her eyes. Elia drank from his cup, noting with fleeting delight that the wine was Dornish. 

"He was Aerys' son. I crushed his chest before he started burning men but he was just as mad."

"He would have been worse," Elia said with conviction. "Aerys saw enemies everywhere and he was determined to kill them. Rhaegar thought he was utterly right in everything. You could not convince him of anything if he made a choice."

Robert drank to that. This was the only joy he had, finally validated in his hatred.

O0O

When Pycelle came to her for an examination, Elia began planning to escape. She had a plot developing in her head, one that would force Arryn to help her if it meant his other foster son would remain safe.

"Pycelle tells me you are healthy enough to bear children," Robert said uncomfortably. They were in his solar, filled with fur and a mounted, crowned boar.

Elia shook her head. "I wouldn't trust him. He convinced Aerys to open the city gates for Tywin."

"Your children's murder-"

"No, I'm old and sick. I-"

"You are five years older and fertile," Robert said in a voice that killed any argument Elia had.

Oberyn came to the city a few days later. Elia could feel a familiar despair threatening to engulf her. Her younger brother, lean and handsome, and forced to stay in the Red Keep lest Elia showed the same incestuous inclination as the previous Queen. They were never alone at any time.

"I have waited for this for years," Oberyn said.

"For Aegon and Rhaenys," Elia said. Arryn coughed into his palm. Elia tried to speak with her brother through her eyes like they had as children. No, no, take me away, Elia thought. Please. I can't go through this again. Oberyn kissed her brow gently.

"Fret not sister, I will bring you justice."

Elia could not speak. She only embraced her brother. Later she went under her covers and wept. 

Elia had ladies from nearby Houses attending to her. They followed her everywhere, always watching and reporting. Elia understood now why Cersei had refused them.

O0O

The Stormlords were coming to King's Landing. Robert was going to marry her, then bed her while he organised a response to destruction in the Riverlands. Oberyn brought a cloak with their sigil. For one hysterical moment, Elia wondered if it was the same one from her first wedding. At least Stannis, who had arrived back from Storm's End the same day as Oberyn, disliked the marriage as much as she did. Maybe that was why Robert sent him away in the first place, so he could not object.

The wedding was not lavish, though thousands attended. For the second time in her life, Elia walked up the stairs to the Sept surrounded by a large cheering mass. The ceremony was excruciatingly slow. Robert's cloak was unbearably heavy and his kiss was wet. Dornish musicians were there with their bamboo flutes and colorful drums.

"I twisted my ankle once dancing to this," Elia told Robert as they both watched Oberyn's woman perform.

"Anyone would break something doing that," Robert replied. He was in a much better mood than she was.

"Even you?" 

Robert's eyes were shinning. "Do you think your brother can make mine dance?"

Elia's eyes found Stannis where he was gnashing his teeth. "He might kill my brother instead."

Robert laughed. "You have all the luck with the Red Viper as a brother. Mother used to say I took all the humour and left Stannis with nothing."

"Give him Casterly Rock and he might even sing for you." By now Elia knew just how much Stannis enjoyed his lordship over Dragonstone.

The bedding was awful. Elia no longer had the softness that came with pregnancy but it had been many years since someone tore her clothes off. She was crying by the time they put her down. Her tears were wiped away by the time Robert stumbled through in just his smallclothes.

He was gentle in a drunken way. Elia sighed, moaned and called his name when he orgasmed.

"Were you thinking of Rhaegar?" Robert asked afterwards.

"No," Elia told him. It was another man, who still lived.

O0O

Before Robert left, Elia kissed him and said, "Bring me his head."

As Queen, Elia attended the Small Council meetings. The Council was reduced to Varys, Baelish and Pycelle. Already the debt the Crown owed to Tywin was discarded. The one owed to the Iron Bank was not yet large enough that they could not borrow money for sellsword companies.

"If there are any left who have not joined Tywin's side," Baelish said amused. Elia knew he was talented but he made her skin crawl.

The King's armies were well fed at least. Elia sent wagons to Hoster Tully with so many of his Kingdom's fields burnt. Sometimes managing the city proved too much for Elia though she tried hard not to show it. She dispensed the King's justice, kept close watch over the Lannister hostages and listened increasingly worried as Varys whispered about an older Viserys and a group of wealthy men meeting him in Pentos.

Pycelle declared her pregnant four months after Robert left. Elia did not need to hear it from him; she was sick all the time and her thighs and arms were growing fat. Her belly was bigger than any of them expected it to be at that stage. Tywin had lost two major battles in that time. Doran sent Maester Caleotte whose medicine Elia accepted over Pycelle's.

In her sixth month of pregnancy, the Greyjoys rebelled and attacked the North. The Crown needed a fleet. House Tyrell, Varys told her, was sending ravens to Tywin after his first victory. Elia started eating twice as much even though she vomited all the time. Suddenly, after months of passively watching her belly swell, she wanted the child inside of her to live.

"You have to survive so your siblings can be avenged, little one," she told the unborn child in the small periods of time she was alone. 

A letter bearing a proposal between a Tyrell child and this babe was sent secretly. Eddard Stark broke away with the main army to reclaim the North. On her final month, the Redwyne fleet met Victarion Greyjoy in battle.

Elia Martell gave birth to Steffon and Ormund Baratheon, both with black hair and blue eyes.

O0O

Caleotte insisted Elia remain in her bed after losing so much blood. He would present the babes to Robert once the siege of Casterly Rock was done. Everyone expected it to be soon. the Northern army had crossed the Twins once again and Mace Tyrell brought his thirty thousand strong army to Robert.

For a year Elia remained confined in her room, feeding the children herself and holding the Council meetings. She took comfort in Tywin trapped in his castle eating horses and rats. Still it was a year now and Casterly Rock still stood.

"Robert would not accept surrender. He wants them all dead," Varys told the Council. "He already hunted Lannisters caught outside of Casterly Rock. Poor Genna and her sons."

Their heads joined Kevan Lannister's. This was vengeance, Elia thought sickened. This was her sons’ and their deceased half-siblings’ legacy. When they talked of Aegon and Rhaenys, it would be their murder first and what their mother did second. Would the world have been better if Elia had perished?

O0O

Steffon and Ormund turned two when Casterly Rock finally fell. Someone (Stannis some were saying) had found the sewers. It was horrific as Robert's men laid waste to the starving. Tywin was paraded before his death. He had become a ghost of the man he was. His dwarf son was found rotting inside a library. The Kingdoms celebrated. Elia had food distributed in King's Landing in Robert's name. 

When Robert returned, Elia stood at the city gate with both their sons. He took the boys and gave her Gregor Clegane's tarred head.

"Thank you," she told him. 

"Has it made you happy?" Robert asked.

"It has," Elia lied.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to explore Elia's life a bit more. English is not my first language.

**O0O**

Elia's body was a curious mix of bone thin and scarred fat, ugly even to her. She covered herself thoroughly and refused to look at the faces of those who helped her wash herself. These days she bathed as much as the northerners, once every few days. Sweat, dead brown skin, saliva and milk caked her skin but she bore it to keep from looking at her nakedness.

The babes were loud, pink skinned with angry blue eyes. They liked Elia just as much as she liked them. It hurt to feed them the way it never hurt to feed Rhaenys. She did not have enough milk for one of them let alone two so with relief Varys brought her a wet nurse. A girl named Beth who was missing teeth and half her family in the Sack. For the first time in nearly a decade Elia saw someone whose tragedy surpassed her and it made Elia weep herself to sleep.

**O0O**

She worked hard though she did not have the strength to. Papers filled with numbers covered the surface of her bed. One problem solved meant nothing to Elia. Once she would have been preening with satisfaction, waiting for the moment she saw Rhaegar to tell him about it, hoping for something that was ultimately futile. Elia no longer held anything at all within her. The work was done mechanically from morning till evening. The babes were brought to her a few times so she could ease the pain in her breast. They grew fast, just as pink as the day were born and ravenous like their father.

Every time Elia touched their heads, her stomach roiled strongly. Their soft bellies brought bile up her throat. When she slept, she saw the youngest Lannister's skull breaking apart with the soft sound Aegon's made.

**O0O**

Elia began walking around the room after four months. It was pain not exhaustion that brought her back to her bed but she had to persist. Already there was talk of her frailty with more pity than after Rhaenys' birth. Elia could not stand it, she did not know why and could not explain it but she had fury bubbling in her chest every time she caught their frowns and sympathy. 

Her moon blood did not return even after six months and Elia hoped it never would. She had enough of children, of her blood flowing like a river out of her, of people waiting with baited breath to hear her death announced. 

**O0O**

Ormund had a birth mark on his thigh and the energy of a work horse. He crawled everywhere, licking and sticking anything into his mouth. Steffon, whose tantrums sounded like a storm escaping, rolled and cooed if he was put beside Elia. Aegon rarely caused her trouble, Elia remembered. She always knew when he was hungry and when he needed cleaning. He was the softest babe in the world and they would spend hours holding each other even in the journey to King's Landing.

Rhaenys though was Oberyn's child at heart, always restless and eager to find secrets in every room she was allowed into. Dragons in Aerys' stories were the only thing that would calm her down. Nothing Elia did could calm Ormund, he was not a child easily satisfied. Elia had dreams of Ormund roaming the wild, petting monsters and eating with his enemies and filled her with horror. 

**O0O**

When both boys could walk, Elia had no choice but to venture out of her room. During their first name day feast, she was carried to the Sept for prayers and stood at the top waving at the crowd. They did not cheer for her like they did Rhaegar but they shouted her children's names and that was enough. After prayers, Elia leaned on Oakheart, gasping quietly as pain shot up her legs. Before she entered the small wheelhouse, an old woman in tatters came to her with her hands outstretched.

"Coin for an old servant," the woman said. Elia pretended to remember her and gave her two golden dragons. "I pray your little babes every day, Your Grace. If the gods are good, they'll be avenged."

Blinking Elia added another coin. "Thank you."

"I remember them," the old woman said. "Sweet Rhaenys. I used to think to myself, 'Berta, this one will make a queen like Alysanne.' Tywin robbed us of that, may the Warrior smite him.... I live near the fish market now, Your Grace. No one's buying fish as much, too expensive. We're all starving, even the little children."

Elia nodded. "I'll," she began and paused to lick her dry lips, "I'll do something."

She bought all the fish and distributed grain but sleep was hard to capture. Was it her grief and hers alone anymore? Were there guards dismissed from service who remembered a dark little girl giving them flowers? Did anyone else weep at the thought of a grown man pinning a toddler to the ground and stabbing her until she was nearly split? Elia looked at Steffon and the mucus coating his chin. Would anyone care if he died?

**O0O**

Robert loved his children or at least he loved carrying them and showing them to his lords. He gave Elia wet kisses on her lips whenever he was near and she smiled like a maiden every time. Stannis had remained in Casterly Rock, his castle now and his daughter's in decades. Elia wondered if he would be displeased. He was now third in line. Is Lannister gold enough for him to forgive her that?

"Forgiveness," Oberyn spat when she told him. "He should thank you on his knees. Everything he has now you have given him."

Elia was too old and had seen too much to put any trust in that. "I can't take any-"

"I fought with him, Elia. He'll do his duty to you and your sons."

"Like Rhaegar?"

Oberyn shook his head. "No, nothing like Rhaegar. Stannis is just, a pain to be around but he would never take what isn't his. The throne is yours, sister."

Elia nearly shouted in frustration. What do thrones mean to her? "Bring me men, Oberyn. Men I can trust."

Oberyn with his earnest eyes slurred, "You have me."

They were so close as children. Everywhere Oberyn went, she followed behind. Yet it was as if he was looking at another Elia when he spoke to her, an Elia who had yet to give birth for the first time. Elia kissed Oberyn's cheek and tried not cry when he left, trailing behind a pretty maid.

"Why are you upset?" Robert asked suspiciously after finally tiring of dancing and shoving his sons at strangers.

"He doesn't know me," Elia said swallowing tears. "We were close once, as close as you and your Ned."

"Oh well," Robert coughed and cleared his throat. "I'll- I'll...."

"It's fine," Elia lied. "I have you and the boys."

 

**O0O**

Robert took his rights every once in a while and Elia drank moon tea the following morning. He would play with the children and then spend his day training, drinking and in the company of pretty women Elia was grateful for. In the next three years, he had two more bastards.

"I'll have them brought to the castle," Robert announced one evening.

Elia hid her grimace. "Wouldn't it better to give them a house and allowance?"

Arryn was relieved when she spoke. "It wouldn't do to have bastard children elevated after Cersei, Robert."

Robert grunted, "They are my children. I want them taken care of."

"And they will be, my love," Elia rushed to say. "Even the girl in the Vale."

The look on Robert's face was fond. "Mya. I held her when she was born, did I tell you?"

While you were drunk and moping about the injury Cersei gave you. "Yes, my love. I'll arrange for her to go to Casterly Rock."

"Why would I allow my daughter to live with Stannis? He's-"

"Shireen needs a playmate, Robert," Elia said quickly. "Patchface is... not good for little girls. I'm sure it would do Selyse a lot of good to see her daughter happy."

Robert deflated. "I'll allow it," he said sullenly. "I'll be by your chamber soon, Elia. You've been too busy lately."

Elia smiled. "I look forward to it," she said in a breathy voice. Arryn coughed loudly. Robert look at him slyly and kissed Elia for a long moment. Then he left with his hammer leaving his wife and foster father to rule the realm.

At night, Robert came to her sober. Elia wore her thinnest night grown knowing how little the sight of her body pleased Robert and how much he enjoyed ripping the material a little in the throes of pleasure. He fucked her gently at first but grew rougher as time went on. She knew to hid her tears and make her gasps of pain sound like bliss.

"I love you," she told him as his eyes grew heavily.

"I love you," Robert replied looking over her shoulder.

Elia cleaned herself with a cloth. Her twins had taken the possibility of ever getting pleasure from a man from her. If this was Rhaegar, Elia would have told him about it and he would have avoided her chambers gladly.

In the morning, Ormund climbed the tallest door and fell, breaking his arm. Elia was so caught in the possibility of his demise that she forgot about the moon tea until a week later.

**O0O**

This pregnancy would kill her. Before, that thought was there but without the certainty she felt now. She wrote a long letter to Doran, begging him to keep the children safe no matter what. He sent her his wife instead.

"You will eat thrice a day," Mellario ordered without a hint of warmth. She knew now what the price for marrying Doran was. Quentyn had glued himself to Steffon and the pair walked the city, speaking quietly with each other. Oberyn was with his nephews whenever Mellario was in Elia’s room. In a few years Steffon would lose his first friend to the Yronwoods.

"I can't," Elia moaned fighting nausea.

"You will," Mellario snapped. She looked like Elia’s mother in that moment.

They brought Elia meat, fruits and vegetables. She ate cheese and swallowed tasteless potatoes. Pycelle had adamantly fought against the inclusion of salt in her food. Elia's belly was larger than it was with Ormund and Steffon. She knew she would die despite all this effort to fatten her up. Mellario forced barely cooked liver that was smoked and kept in honey on Elia. Beans from the Reach were served every day. Two-thirds of the food was digested but the rest was vomited out in the mornings.

Elia was bloated with a runny stomach and a thirst for water that kept her near the privy at all time. It was hard to sleep once the unborn babes started kicking and she would go into fury at the slightest provocation. Robert kept clear of her chambers after she hit him in panic when they found blood on her dress. 

Finally, Elia gave birth. The first babe was born with a shapeless mark on her cheek. Elia pushed and screamed for hours before she came. She was the easiest. The second one was without blemish and more Martell than any of her children since Rhaenys. The third one was stuck somewhere inside of Elia and the last thing Elia saw was Pycelle holding a knife.

**O0O**

Elia woke up with a dry mouth and a deep ache that settled over her like a blanket. Mellario's face came into view and she started crying.

"I told you, you wouldn't die," she said before being pushed aside.

Two months had passed since the birth. There were two wet nurses since Elia's body produced no milk. Elia could not move, too tired and weak to stay awake for long. Mellario made her drink thick honeyed milk every time Elia woke up. The milk would settle in her belly like a heavy stone. After weeks of that, Elia could drink soup and juice from fruits, a small amount every time until that pain joined the ones in her limbs as something she got used to.

Ormund snuck into her room one day and wept on her shoulder. "I'll be very good, Mother. Please don't die. I help Jon and brush Father's beard. Please, Mother," he sobbed. Elia lifted her grotesque hand and brushed the hair off his face. "I don't fight with Steffon anymore. I kiss him every day. I kiss the babies too, even Arrena even though she is ugly."

Curious Elia asked for the babes for the first time. They were as black haired and blue eyed as their brothers. Carelle had a mark from her left temple to her cheek. Cassana's skin was as brown as Elia's father, a loud babe whose smile was identical to Steffon's. Arrena was small with a twisted arm from how crowded Elia's womb was. Pycelle had to dislocate her shoulder to remove her and she came out with half of Elia's blood and womb.

**O0O**

A month later, Elia could sit up. She often stared in awe at her starving body. Look at what I survived, she thought imagining the expression on Aerys' face if he saw her now. Then she shuddered, what will kill me now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Elia, look at what I put her through. Is it weird that I'm incapable of writing her as being genuinely happy? For my next fic I'm wondering if I can do an AU of this where instead of staying in King's Landing for 7 years, she's married off to Tywin. Then after that the fic I promised Calinda. The original ending for this chapter was Steffon asking about his half siblings. 
> 
> Tell me what you think.

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me what you think. Yes, Elia had more kids. Did you know that people can give birth into their 50s naturally? Not Elia of course but whenever I think about that, I wonder why they are marrying girls so young in this universe. Elia married at a natural age imo. Btw Cersei is one of my favourite characters so killing her off was something I did reluctantly.


End file.
